For Clients,  Personal

I Ran Away From Photography

May 2019. The last time I photographed professionally for a client was a year ago, and honestly, I only took one session before that. In fact, in this past year I haven’t picked up my camera much for personal work either. I stopped participating in online photography groups, stopped opening my collection of books, stopped the educational videos and workshops. I ran away from photography. 
 
There are a whole host of reasons I walked away, pressed pause on what brings my heart so much joy.

I felt the weight of the investment vs. payout consideration every small business makes, I felt the pressure of being a mom and wife first and foremost, my extended family went through a tremendously difficult season that continues to linger, we lost another pregnancy, and the list goes on. Mostly though I just got tired, tired of the hustle, tired of the pressure to preform, tired of the social media grind and the silence of my inbox inquires. I started to believe that my value and worth was tied to how many sessions I was booking, how many likes I was getting, how many people were sharing my work and recommending my services. I got tired, so tired. 
 
So, I walked away, silently, and took a job with an incredible organization called Maternal Mental Health NOW which focuses on reducing the barriers to postpartum mental health care. I have been immersed in stories of motherhood for the past 8 months and have felt first-hand the tremendous impact of mothers.What I realized over this time is that I lost sight of my heart for photography, my vision and first love. It is the deep beauty of real life, of family and especially of motherhood that sparked my desire to create images in the first place.

I lost my heart for you, my dear clients turned friends. I stopped seeing telling your stories as my primary mission. 
 
Realizing this is humbling. It causes deep sadness yet, brings so much clarity of purpose. I must tell stories of family, especially motherhood. It is a sacred desire placed upon my heart that continues with me no matter how far I run from it. 
 
While I have clarity of purpose, I have no idea of how this will play out in the uncertainty of these times. We are expecting our second baby at the end of June and COVID-19 continues to turn our world upside down. I do know that once we are able to be in the same space, I will embrace your story and all the beauty in it.

I will harness all my soul and vision to create art that reflects the magical mystery of motherhood and family. 

My heart is happy to be back and I hope you will join me in sharing our beautiful stories with the world. Stay tuned for more opportunities to do so in the weeks ahead. And thank you with all my heart for being a part this journey. 

With all my heart,
 
Erin 

2 Comments

  • Stacy

    Hey Erin,
    I’m so glad you are back to your love. Your family has been through so much. I love you guys and miss you.
    Stacy

  • capturedgracebyerin

    Thank you, Stacy! It has been quite a year and I am so glad God is bringing us through. Miss you all!