Every new year you think, this is going to be THE year. The start of a calendar year is always filled with so much hope that we try not to think that it could be the year that brings hurt and pain. Yet, I have lost count of the number of times my husband and I have turned to each other and mentioned how hard 2016 has been so far. A year filled with personal loss and deep soul searching, a year of being tossed by the waves. It will be “one of THOSE years” for us forever.
Yet, in the struggle there is always beauty. I have found a deep love for photography and a renewed passion for documenting families. I will admit that in the darkest moments I wanted to walk away from it all. I didn’t know if I could go on photographing the joy and love of parenthood that I so deeply desire. I worried I would fall apart during sessions, especially births or newborn sessions. In God’s grace my first session a few weeks after our loss of baby Sparrow was a birth. I drove there trembling and wishing I had found a back-up photographer to go for me. I thought for sure my raw heart would spill out in less than positive ways. And it did spill out but to my relief it was in love and awe. The joy that filled my heart over this new precious life was tangible and propelled me back into my love of creating art from the beautiful moments in our lives.
The darkness reminded me of the light photography brings into my life. When I am creating I feel only joy and love for the subject in front of my camera and the art being made. All else fades away. Photography is such a gift to my soul and one I hope to give to families for years to come.
Thank you for being along for the journey and for your support of my heart during such a tough year. You are a gift to me and I am forever blessed to be a part of telling your story.